


Messages

by thesoulofchaos



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-05
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-10-05 01:14:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17315300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesoulofchaos/pseuds/thesoulofchaos
Summary: Spencer can't bear to part with notes his mother used to leave him...





	Messages

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 2018, 12 Days of Christmas Challenge

Spencer kept the notes his mother used to write to him tucked away in a drawer at home. They only ever came out when he was certain that he would be by himself for a long time; that wasn’t a luxury he often had with the demands of his job.

He didn’t want - couldn’t bear it - if someone found even one of them and read them. They didn’t make any sense to anyone else, and all they would read would be the unravelling of his mother’s mind as she struggled with schizophrenia.

One warned him about the postman and how to change his route home from school each day to make sure that the postman couldn’t lay in wait for him.

Another one, one that he was particularly fond of, included the last part of a conspiracy involving J Edgar Hoover, though Spencer had never found the rest of the conspiracy. And as a child, he  **had** looked. Sometimes when he was left on his own for a long time, he had made up ridiculous scenarios to fill in the blanks.

Another one was written back to front and upside down if he remembered correctly that one was to prevent the people operating the cameras in their apartment from reading it. He’d also looked for cameras, but he had never found those.

It wasn’t that they were a comfort or that they brought him fond memories. Far too often they were tied with painful thoughts, but somehow to get rid of them felt like throwing away a part of his mother and with her slowly losing her memories to dementia, Spencer didn’t feel like he could ever get rid of any part of her again.


End file.
